Forsaken Souls
by Appeasement
Summary: Everyone is afraid of something. Everyone has a different way of dealing with these fears. Misaki meets a man by the name of Usami Akihiko and discovers that running away isn't the only way to cope with what you are afraid of.
1. The Runaway

_A/N: I have decided to write a new story and complete it. It might be a bit odd at the beginning though._

_Warnings: Gore and (possible) sexual content._

_Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan fiction. Junjou Romantica is owned by Nakamura Shungiku. I own none of the original characters._

**xxx**

Chapter 1

The Runaway

**xxx**

Cold, dark, abandoned. Those were the words to describe the forest Misaki ran through as he fled from his fear to face his brother. He had failed him. All the effort and time he had put into studying for his exams had been a total waste. And now he was too embarrassed, too ashamed with himself to tell Takahiro the truth. Misaki knew Takahiro would forgive him for not being good enough, but he didn't want that kindness. He didn't deserve it.

His brother wouldn't admit his disappointment. All he ever did was tell Misaki that it was all right. That he had done as much as he could. It broke Misaki's heart because he knew Takahiro meant it, but refused to tell Misaki everything. Takahiro always pretended his brother was perfect. He had never pointed out any of Misaki's flaws except for that one time he messed up the kitchen to make him food. After seeing Misaki cry, he never dared to get mad at him again.

Misaki stopped running, reached for his bag and found the paper with his results. The poor quality of his grades made him want to cringe and hide somewhere where no one could find him. He knew he was to blame for not understanding the basics and it angered him. But most of all, it made him feel useless.

_I'm a complete failure. Nii-chan told me he believes in me and I just can't live up to his expectations. He deserves a better sibling than me._

The sky grew darker and cloudy. It was around early evening, but winter had claimed hours of the sun lighting up the world. Night fell early at this time of year. Misaki didn't mind the dark, but the cold accompanying the night. Furthermore, he'd been stupid enough to forget his winter coat and wasn't in the mood to walk all the way back to school to get it.

Shivering, Misaki put the depressing results back in his bag and proceeded. Running had already drained his energy too much, so he was sure he would collapse if he tried to go faster. Thus, he settled for moving slowly and paying attention to the environment. Even at night the forest looked quite beautiful. Most of the trees had lost all of their leaves, save for a few cedar trees in the distance. It still felt empty to Misaki though. He hadn't seen or heard any animals yet. The only sounds were his footsteps and the gusts of wind passing through every so often.

It was unpleasantly cold without his warm coat, but Misaki wasn't going to change his mind. He kept going, trying to ignore his goose bumps with no success. He cursed out loud, blaming the wind for being icy cold that night. Not that it was going to help. He knew damn well the wind wouldn't listen to him.

_At least it can't get any worse than this. _

Right when this thought crept through his mind, he felt a cold droplet on the top of his head. Misaki raised his hand and held it out to determine if it was raining. When another droplet hit the palm of his hand, he groaned out of frustration.

_That is just great. Just perfect!_

Misaki felt like screaming, but realised it wouldn't get him anywhere. A much cleverer decision was to look for shelter. This left Misaki with two options: run for the cedar trees he had spotted earlier and possibly wearing himself out completely, or walking to the same trees and having to deal with the irritating rain for way longer. Neither of these options was ideal, but it was starting to rain harder and Misaki couldn't stand the feeling of the water sliding down his neck and into his uniform.

Gathering his energy was all Misaki did before he started to run. His eyesight became blurry by the droplets blowing into his eyes. Rain usually did not bother him in the slightest, but this was a whole different story. In a matter of a few seconds it had become his greatest enemy. He was lucky enough to see the contours of the trees.

This luck turned out to be a lie though, for he suddenly tripped over a tree root and fell flat on his face. Groaning in pain, Misaki placed his hands on the ground and pushed himself up. His face and uniform were covered in dirt, much like the palms of his hands.

_Is this some kind of punishment for running away from my responsibilities? _Misaki wondered. He stood up and moved at a slower pace. Running had not been a very good idea, it seemed. His face and knees hurt from the fall, but at least he could see where he was going. The trees weren't far from there. Misaki cast his eyes on his goal and forced his body to keep going.

"You."

The voice startled Misaki. He stopped in his tracks and looked around him, but there was no one in sight. Telling himself that it was merely his imagination, he proceeded.

"Hey you." the voice cut through the silence again. "What are you doing here?"

"Who's there?" Misaki asked. "Show yourself." It was scary to know there was someone else in the forest, but Misaki tried to be brave. He squinted his eyes to see a figure standing near the cedar tree. The stranger looked tall and had broad shoulders, but that was all Misaki could see through the heavy rainfall.

"You shouldn't be here." the stranger said as he took a step closer. His voice sounded deep and mysterious, reminding Misaki of the night. He hesitantly waited as he wasn't sure what to do next. The person approaching him could be a serial killer or a rapist. But Misaki didn't have the strength to run away, so he just stood there.

_I wonder what he is doing here. _He thought. _Is this person running away like me? He sounds like an adult. Does he live near here?_

"Who are you?" Misaki asked.

"Usami Akihiko. Now that you know that, would you tell me what you're doing here? It isn't safe to stay in the woods at night."

Misaki frowned. "I didn't see any animals here so I doubt it's as dangerous as you affirm."

The man moved closer little by little until Misaki could see his face clearly. Usami Akihiko was a man much taller than him, with short hair that seemed to glow silver in the light of the moon. Misaki couldn't identify his eye colour as it was too dark already, but he noticed the high class attire of the mysterious stranger. It made him wonder what a man like him was doing all alone in a forest at night. He found it somewhat suspicious.

"This is neither the time nor the place for idle chatter. Aren't you cold?"

"A little, but I left my coat at school." Misaki replied in embarrassment. It caught him by surprise when Usami took off his own coat and laid it on his shoulders. A pleasant warmth surrounded Misaki, along with a feeling of softness. He sighed in relief and closed his eyes.

"Better?" Usami asked as he patted the teen's back.

Misaki wasn't sure what to say. The coat was most certainly comfortable, but he didn't see why this man was helping him. Most of all, he worried that Usami would get cold without it.

"Will you be ok?" he asked after a while. When Usami nodded, Misaki gave a small smile. "Thank you, Usami-san." A sudden dizziness took over him, almost causing him to fall back. Usami grasped his arm and pulled him back swiftly.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm sorry." Misaki answered. "I'm not feeling very well." With his hand, he rubbed his head. It didn't occur to him that the cold made his body so weak. His eyesight became blurry with white spots while his body began to tremble. Misaki tried to keep his balance, but his legs were giving up. Feeling as though he was going to pass out he took hold of the other man's arm.

The last thing he saw was a worried look on Usami's face. Then, everything turned black.

**xxx**

_Let the dark of the night take me far, far away_

_Never to return again to that place_


	2. The Manor

_A/N: Here is the second chapter. There isn't much happening at the beginning of this story, but it will unfold slowly. Special thanks to na-ka-ma284, Trix and SuzukiChiyeko for reviewing._

_Warnings: Gore and (possible) sexual content._

_Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan fiction. Junjou Romantica is owned by Nakamura Shungiku. I own none of the original characters._

**xxx**

Chapter 2

The Manor

**xxx**

_Where am I? It's warm, much warmer than when I was in the forest. What happened? I met this man called Usami Akihiko and I think I passed out right after._

Misaki opened his eyes very slowly and noticed the contours of a tub. He appeared to be in a bathroom, but not one he was familiar with. He looked around him and realised he was sitting on a chair with towels covering up his body. Misaki stared at his hands. They were still covered in dirt. Whoever had brought him there didn't want to wake him by cleaning him. He stood up and turned around to see his reflection in the mirror and discover his face wasn't clean either, but he assumed it was for the same reason.

Someone had taken him to their house, undressed him, dried his hair and body and wrapped him up in some warm towels. Misaki wasn't sure why that person had done so much for him, but he got the feeling that it was the same man who found him in the forest and lent him his coat. He still did not understand why Usami was so kind to him. They were practically strangers. Either he pitied Misaki or he knew him from somewhere. Misaki couldn't recall meeting him before though.

There was more bothering him. Misaki knew that wherever he was, he couldn't stay there for long. He could not stay in someone else's house while his brother was waiting for him to come home. Takahiro didn't have any clue where Misaki could be and it had to be troubling him. This made Misaki feel guilty for running away and he began to understand that running away had been a grave mistake.

He was somewhere with no indication of a way to get home. Misaki got angry for not thinking his actions through. It was foolish to hide in an unfamiliar forest at night without anything to keep him warm, but there was no way to turn back and undo his actions.

Misaki tore his eyes away from the mirror and walked to the door, but stopped when the handle moved on its own. The man he'd met in the forest held the door open. The bathroom lights allowed Misaki to see his violet eyes. He was transfixed until Usami spoke to him.

"I see you've regained consciousness." he said. "How are you feeling now?"

"Better. Did you bring me here? Where are we to begin with?"

"Yes, I carried you to my home after you passed out. I also put your clothes in the laundry since they were dirty. Now that you are awake, you should take a bath. I don't think I have anything that'll fit you, but you can borrow one of my shirts."

"That's very kind of you, but you don't have to do that. I will be leaving shortly. Sorry for bothering you."

"It's not a good idea to leave in nothing but your underwear." Usami said. "I doubt you will get through the cold safely, seeing you didn't make it with your uniform on."

_He's got a point, but I can't stay here for too long. Nii-chan must be worried about me already. I have to find my way back._

"I'm sorry, Usami-san." Misaki apologised. "I have to leave."

"Why are you in such a hurry? Didn't you come to the forest because you don't want to go home? I see no reason why you should leave this evening. Staying here for one night wouldn't hurt."

Misaki found the truth in Usami's words and admitted defeat. He didn't know how long he had been unconscious, though it didn't matter because he was tired already. In addition, his body was still quite exhausted from staying out in the cold earlier. If Usami offered him to stay, it would be rude to decline. He had no intention of bothering the man, but he could stay for a little while. The next day he would take his leave and go back home after picking up his coat at school.

Usami nodded as though he had read Misaki's mind and turned away. "Very well, I'll bring you something to wear and a clean towel. You can fill the bathtub in the meantime. I've already prepared a room for you, but take your time."

Misaki was too overwhelmed to respond and just watched Usami as he walked out. He only then noticed how spacious the house looked. There was a long corridor with wooden doors on the right side and a large staircase on the left. The walls were painted a purest white, decorated with landscape paintings and other sorts of art. It was a sight Misaki had never seen before. It left him completely flabbergasted and stunned. Turned out he was right about Usami being a man of high class.

The beauty also frightened Misaki. The place looked so immoderate that he kept wondering why Usami was helping a simple young man such as himself. He even gave him permission to sleep in one of the bedrooms. Misaki feared that room would be even more impressive than anything he had seen so far.

He snapped out of his trance and moved to the bathtub. The tap was a golden like colour, covered in a few fingerprints. The little imperfections gave Misaki to courage to touch it. Water started running, but it was still cold as Misaki checked the temperature with his finger. When the water was warm enough he put in the plug and waited. He heard someone enter the bathroom and turned around to see Usami had returned.

"I brought you my old pyjamas, but I don't think they'll fit you. You might want to just wear the shirt since the trousers will be too big on you." Usami put the clothes down and hung the towel on the towel rack.

"Why are you so nice to me?" Misaki asked suddenly.

Usami looked surprised, but only for a moment. "Did you want me to leave you in the cold and the rain? That wouldn't have been the most thoughtful thing to do."

"But I could be someone suspicious."

"It would take a miracle."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You seem harmless and I doubt you'd stand a chance against me. Pretty much like a lost puppy looking for a home." Usami's raised a perfectly arched eyebrow at him.

Misaki found the man presumptuous, but couldn't think of anything that could possibly prove him wrong. He let Usami enjoy his win. There were more important matters to take care of, like taking a bath so he could get dressed. Misaki turned around and turned off the tap. Usami took the hint and left, shutting the door behind him.

In a hurry, Misaki dropped the towels on the floor and stepped into the water. He lowered himself until he was sitting in the tub and then leaned back, letting out a sigh of contentment. His eyes closed as he relaxed in the hot water. Staying at Usami's house didn't seem all that bad so far.

**xxx**

Misaki was all clean and fresh as he got out of the bath. He dried himself with the towel and put on the clothes Usami had given him. As the man predicted, the top and bottoms were both too big. Misaki decided to take Usami's advice and took off the trousers. He was sure he was going to trip over them if he tried to walk around.

The plug was pulled out of the tub before Misaki walked out of the bathroom, turning off the lights. He wasn't sure what time it was, but he was rather tired.

"I assume you're done bathing?"

Misaki looked around him, but couldn't find Usami anywhere. "Yes. Where are you?"

"Downstairs. I'd like to have a word with you."

"Ok." Misaki replied, moving towards the stairs. His eyes widened in awe as he saw the ground floor of the house. There was a single enormous area serving as a living room, kitchen and dining room. The wooden floor was shining and gleaming in the artificial light. Even more artwork and various imported decorations highlighted the beauty before him. Large rectangular windows with royal blue curtains dominated the wall on the right. It was so beautiful that Misaki couldn't move from his spot.

Usami spotted him at the top of the stairs. He beckoned Misaki while smirking cockily and moved to the couch. Misaki approached a bit wobbly and took the seat across from him. It took a while before he had calmed down.

"You're impressed by all this, I can see." Usami said.

"This place is amazing. You can't be living here all by yourself."

"I have to disappoint you, but I am in fact the only one living in this house."

"Manor." Misaki corrected.

"Whatever butters your biscuit. My father has been trying to find me a wife for years, but I haven't met anyone who is a good match for me. He's constantly sending me photographs and information and invites candidates over to my house without my permission. It has become bothersome and irritating."

Misaki didn't quite understand the problems Usami had to deal with, but he could only imagine how inconvenient it was to have an unexpected visitor drop by. An imaginary voice spoke to him and told him he wasn't any different. Misaki figured he was bothering the man and bowed his head in shame.

"I'm sorry. I will leave now."

"Why?"

"Because I'm just a burden to you."

"Not at all. It was me who brought you here, so you're free to stay. I don't mind your company. Having a man around is a nice change since nearly all of my visitors are female."

The kind answer relieved Misaki. The thought of causing such a kind man trouble was unforgivable to him. He was grateful for Usami's hostility. It still wasn't clear what sort of person Usami was though, so Misaki told himself to be careful.

"I appreciate your kind offer, Usami-san. Thank you for allowing me to stay."

"Not at all." Usami repeated. "I would like to know your name though, if you don't mind. You haven't introduced yourself yet."

"I'm really sorry! It must have slipped my mind. My name is Takahashi Misaki."

Usami looked thoughtful, but only for a moment. "Although I would like to talk to you some more, I suppose you must be tired by now. Why don't we call it a day? We can continue our conversation tomorrow."

"Alright, that sounds like a good idea. You said you prepared a room for me."

"Yes, the third door on your right. First floor. Sleep well."

"Good night." Misaki got up and walked back to the staircase. Their brief conversation had roused his curiosity. He wanted to find out more about Usami, but it would have to wait.

**xxx**

_We are here, together_

_Destined or doomed, the mystery unsolved_


	3. The Room

_A/N: Hello again. I try to update fast so the chapters are quite short for now. Thanks Trix, na-ka-ma284, HM and thegirlwithagun for reviewing._

_The conversations may seem British because I write in British English instead of American English, so I use words that are more common in British English (e.g. biscuit rather than cookie)._

_Warnings: Gore and (possible) sexual content._

_Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan fiction. Junjou Romantica is owned by Nakamura Shungiku. I own none of the original characters._

**xxx**

Chapter 3

The Room

**xxx**

The room where Misaki slept was warm like the rest of the manor. The sheets on the bed were soft and thick to protect him against the cold. But even with all that luxury Misaki could only sleep until early in the morning. By then the wind became fierce and the sound of the gusts passing by were too loud for Misaki to ignore. The thing irritating him most was a single branch scratching the window. The effect was rather eerie, keeping Misaki awake.

Misaki groaned and pushed his pillow against his ears. He wanted to sleep some more, but it was too noisy outside. It was a typical winter storm, though it wasn't snowing. Misaki glared in the direction of the window and surrendered.

"Alright alright, I'll get up." he mumbled at the wind. It was early in the morning and quite dark, so Misaki had trouble finding his bedside lamp. He scanned the nightstand beside his bed with his hands. The lamp was found soon enough, but looking for the switch wasn't nearly as easy.

_Shouldn't a manor like this have lights that switch on when you clap your hands? Wait a second._

Misaki clapped his hands quietly. The lights went on immediately. It was only to be expected from an expensive villa, but Misaki was impressed. He had seen it in movies and never thought he'd see it in real life. If he realised it sooner he would have tried it the day before instead of looking for a light switch in the dark.

The new discovery filled him with excitement and the willingness to explore the manor. He had to keep quiet since Usami was probably asleep. Misaki snuck out of his bedroom. There were dimmed lights illuminating the corridor. It helped Misaki in finding his way around without stumbling. His eyes darted from door to door as he tried to decide which one he should check out first. When he realised one of the doors had to lead to Usami's bedroom, he chose not to take the risk. He was sure Usami wouldn't be happy if he blatantly walked into his room.

The staircase led Misaki to the ground floor he had caught a glimpse of the day before. What Misaki hadn't noticed was a single door on the right side. It was hidden quite well and there wasn't anything interesting about it, except how the wood of the doorframe seemed old and a bit rotten in contrast to the many other doors. It was enough to captivate Misaki. He wanted to know what was behind that door just because it was so out of place. Sneaking around in Usami's house was a tad rude, but he couldn't help himself.

The door was within reach when Misaki noticed the rust on the handle. It appeared to be a room that hadn't been used for a very long time, or perhaps it was a storage room. Misaki grasped the rusty handle and pushed it down. The rough feeling against his palm was uncomfortable, giving him shivers. He released it as the door swung open and laid eyes upon a dark passageway. There wasn't nearly enough light to see what was ahead of him.

_This won't do. I can't see anything, so I can't go any further than this. Maybe my cell phone provides enough light. I'll have to get it first though._

Misaki contemplated walking back to his room to get his cell phone, but decided to first look in the living room to see if he could find a torch. He turned around to start his search. Something blocking his path stopped him. Looking up, he was met with the sight of Usami's face. Even in the dark he could see the man was not too excited.

"What are you doing?"

"Good morning Usami-san." Misaki smiled in an attempt to distract him, but it was in vain.

"What are you sneaking around for? It's five in the morning."

"There was too much noise outside. I couldn't sleep, so I started looking around for a bit and found this mysterious door here."

"There's nothing mysterious about it."

"What's in there?"

"A room."

"And what's in that room?"

"That's none of your concern." Usami answered coldly. "I don't recall giving you permission to nose about."

"I'm sorry." Misaki's face flushed hotly in shame. He didn't want to pry into Usami's private matters, but he was too curious. "This manor is so enormous that I wanted to explore. Sorry for being so unthoughtful."

Usami ran a hand through his hair. "I'll forgive you, but you have to promise not to do it again." He clapped his hands and the lights turned on. "We're both awake already, so I might as well make breakfast."

"Let me do it!" Misaki insisted.

"Do what?"

"Make breakfast. I can cook and I want to make up for being so rude. Please, can I?"

"I don't see why not." Usami watched Misaki run to the kitchen and snickered. He closed the old door, locking it with a key he kept in his pocket. Misaki saw this from the corner of his eye. Secretly, he wasn't yet satisfied with not knowing what was in the room Usami mentioned. It was obvious Usami wasn't going to show him though.

_What am I doing? Usami-san said he doesn't want me sniffing around and I will be leaving today too, so it doesn't even matter what is behind that door. I should respect Usami-san's privacy._

_Are you sure you don't want to know? _Another voice in his head countered. _It's suspicious to lock a door after someone tries to get in. There must be something interesting in there. Something no one knows about._

_No, I won't do it._ Misaki thought. No matter how tempting it was, he would not dive into Usami's private life so shamelessly. He had to keep his curiosity under control.

_But one peek wouldn't hurt._

"I said no and that's final!"

"Who are you talking to?" Usami asked.

Misaki's gaze shot up. His face became red as he realised he was talking out loud. "I wasn't talking to anyone. What would you like for breakfast? I can make anything you want." Misaki began digging into the refrigerator, but paused when Usami tapped him on the shoulder. Turning his head, he looked at the man. "What?"

"You are Takahiro's brother, are you not?"

"Yes. Do you know him?"

"He's a good friend of mine. I have known Takahiro since high school, so I know quite a lot about him. You probably don't know this, but he talks about you all the time. I have listened to so many stories that I feel like I know you. He must be worried about his only brother." Usami drew back his hand. "If you want, I'll call him and let him know you're here."

Misaki only nodded. There was something very odd about Usami. He wasn't a mean person, but he seemed to switch between friendly and cold. It made Misaki wonder if Usami had any mental issues. _That's rude. I shouldn't think so badly of him. Usami-san is a good man._ But even while thinking that, Misaki's mind kept wandering off to the mysterious door on the other side of the room.

**xxx**

_Those who hide their secrets_

_Will be the first to find them uncovered_


	4. The Shame

_A/N: I had no inspiration for this chapter whatsoever. Took me too long to write it._

_Thank you sekhoya990, SuzukiChiyeko, na-ka-ma284, thegirlwithagun, Trix and HM for reviewing. You will find out what's behind the door in a few chapters, but not right away._

_Warnings: Gore and (possible) sexual content._

_Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan fiction. Junjou Romantica is owned by Nakamura Shungiku. I own none of the original characters._

**xxx**

Chapter 4

The Shame

**xxx**

A perfect Japanese breakfast was what greeted Usami as he returned. He had decided to get dressed before breakfast, but didn't force Misaki into doing the same. As his guest, Misaki had the right to do as he pleased as long as he didn't break any of the rules. The only rule so far was not to enter the room he discovered earlier.

Misaki had outdone himself to please Usami. His brother made breakfast most of the time, but Misaki did have his share of experience. Now he hoped Usami would like his cooking. He saw the man stare at the table and wasn't sure what Usami was thinking. He was a rich man after all. Misaki sincerely hoped he didn't disappoint him.

"Usami-san, you can sit down and eat." Misaki said. He walked out of the kitchen and sat down as well. Usami didn't look up at him. All he did was stare at the food. This made Misaki really nervous, so he cleared his throat. "I hope this is ok. I tried my best."

"I can see that."

Misaki thought it was sarcasm until Usami picked up his chopsticks and began to eat. There wasn't anything in Usami's expression that showed disgust. Misaki noticed this but he didn't stop looking at Usami. He wanted to see the man's reaction.

"Did Takahiro teach you?" Usami asked suddenly.

"Yes."

"It tastes good. I haven't had such a good meal in a long time."

"Do you really mean that?" Misaki sounded as surprised as he was. Usami could have so much better, but he didn't complain about his cooking. It then occurred to Misaki he hadn't seen any housekeepers yet and Usami did mention he was living by himself.

"Why would I lie about it?"

"I didn't say you're a liar."

"Has no one ever told you before? Takahiro must have said it at least once."

_He has. _Misaki answered in his head. _Nii-chan says it all the time. I just never believed my cooking was actually that good. He always praises me. I always thought all brothers do that. _It made Misaki feel guilty for not taking Takahiro's compliments seriously.

"Misaki, there's something I'd like to ask." Usami looked at him and laid his chopsticks on top of his bowl. "Why are you running away from home? Did Takahiro do something to upset you?"

"How can you tell I'm running away?"

"I don't see why you would go into a forest in the early evening for any other reason."

Misaki understood he couldn't get out of it. Usami had already figured out what was going on, so he might as well tell him the whole truth. It embarrassed him as he knew he would have to explain he wasn't doing well in school. Usami didn't seem like the kind of person to laugh at him though.

"Yesterday, my grades came in and they weren't very good." Misaki began to explain. "I didn't want Nii-chan to see them, because he'd be disappointed in me. I feel like I'm not trying enough even though I've given it my all."

"Why are you so afraid of Takahiro being disappointed? He doesn't expect you to get perfect grades."

"I want to do well in school for him. That's a promise I made to myself. If my grades don't get any better I can't go to Mitsuhashi University."

It seemed like Usami wanted to respond, but then shut his mouth right before speaking. Some sort of hum came from him instead and it gave Misaki the idea Usami understood the situation perfectly. Now that he thought about it, Usami knew a lot about Takahiro since they were friends. It wasn't remarkable if Usami knew Takahiro gave up on Mitsuhashi for Misaki's sake.

Usami ran his finger over his empty rice bowl and then smiled. The smile was hard to notice, but Misaki saw it and grew curious.

"What is it?"

"You're pretty cute, Misaki."

"What was that? Where did you get that from? Are you flirting with me? I'm a guy!"

"I know that." Usami chuckled charmingly. "But don't you think your ambitions are cute as well? You want to fulfil Takahiro's dreams to make him happy. I think it's a kind gesture."

"There's nothing cute about it. Nii-chan has done the same for me, so I need to return the favour."

"If you want Takahiro to be happy, you should show him your grades and keep up your hopes. Failing once doesn't mean you can't make it. You have to keep trying." The words were encouraging, but not in a way that seemed unrealistic to Misaki. He believed what Usami said, every word of his speech.

"You're right." Misaki said as he nodded. "I can't keep hiding the truth from Nii-chan forever."

**xxx**

A phone conversation was all it took to make Takahiro hurry to Usami's house. When Usami told him his brother was safe, Takahiro left immediately to see Misaki. Ten minutes later he was standing at the doorstep. Misaki had just done the dishes in the kitchen when Takahiro came in and threw his arms around him.

"Misaki, I'm glad you're alright!" Takahiro hugged his brother and smiled. "I was so worried about you. When you didn't return I thought something happened to you."

_So he was that worried about me. _Misaki thought. Now he really regretted running away so unthoughtfully. _I should have him the truth and showed him my grades. Usami-san was right. I shouldn't run away from my problems. _

Takahiro saw a sad look in Misaki's eyes and patted his head. "C'mon, don't look like that. I'm happy you're safe. Your grades aren't nearly as important."

"Usami-san told you everything?"

"He told me how he found you and why you ran away." Takahiro replied. "Don't feel bad if you think you can't make me proud, Misaki. You're the best brother one could wish for. I wouldn't trade you for the world."

Misaki smiled at Takahiro, being happy to hear such encouraging words. He looked back to see if Usami was still there, but the man seemed to have left. Misaki wondered where Usami was until he heard two voices and spotted Usami with a woman at the door. They were talking about something, but Usami was frowning the whole time. The woman he was speaking to was short and slender. She had bleached blond hair and was wearing so much make-up that it made her look like she was in her forties.

"She looks like a nice girl." Takahiro commented. "Do you think she's Usagi's girlfriend?"

"Usami-san doesn't have a girlfriend."

"Maybe they're dating."

"It doesn't look like it." Misaki mumbled too softly for his brother to hear. That woman had to be one of the candidates Usami told him about. They didn't seem to get along though. Usami didn't even smile at her once, but kept looking disinterested.

It was a miracle when Usami let the visitor into the manor and shut the door. The woman stared at Misaki and Takahiro with her amber eyes.

"These are your visitors?" She asked Usami with a scoff. "What's so special about them?"

Takahiro looked at her in shock, but then tried to ignore her. "Usagi, you remembered what we discussed earlier? You're not going to make up your mind?"

"I'm not."

"Alright, then I'll take my leave." Takahiro let go of his brother and passed the rude woman as he walked to the front door. "Goodbye Misaki!"

His brother was too confused to respond. Misaki glanced at Usami, but he was too busy arguing with the unfamiliar lady. He had no idea why Takahiro left without even looking at his grades and why he expected him to stay with Usami, but he got the feeling he had missed something very important. It appeared Usami and Takahiro had made an agreement without him knowing.

Usami finally paid attention to Misaki and cut his conversation with his unwanted visitor short by ignoring her completely. As he walked over to Misaki, he saw confusion in the teen's eyes. But Misaki didn't speak or ask any questions. He just stood there, waiting.

"Misaki." The man said this name, but it sounded strange, almost as though he was trying to seduce Misaki. As if that wasn't confusing enough, Usami continued. "How troublesome, is it not? It seems my father has yet to accept our love." He kept moving closer.

"Usami-san, I don't kn—" Misaki didn't get to finish his sentence. Their lips crashed together in the blink of an eye. Usami put his hands on Misaki's back to keep him in place and Misaki didn't understand a thing of what was happening.

**xxx**

_Lips meet without a sound_

_Nothing but silence and riddles_


	5. The Problem

_A/N: There's not much for me to say about this chapter. Thank you sekhoya990, SuzukiChiyeko, na-ka-ma284, Trix and HM for reviewing._

_Warnings: Gore and (possible) sexual content._

_Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan fiction. Junjou Romantica is owned by Nakamura Shungiku. I own none of the original characters._

**xxx**

Chapter 5

The Problem

**xxx**

Misaki didn't know what to do as Usami's lips collided with his. The kiss happened so out of blue that he had no chance to avoid it. He hadn't seen this coming at all. Usami could have given him a warning, for crying out loud. Now that Misaki began to calm down he began to wonder if this sort of behaviour fell into the category of sexual harassment. It wasn't as though Usami had asked his permission before he smashed his mouth onto Misaki's.

When Misaki felt his lips being forced apart and something invade his mouth, he pushed Usami away from him. Usami didn't even stumble backwards, but looked at him emotionlessly. Misaki wanted to ask him what was going on in his head to pull such a stunt. The woman who had seen them beat him to it.

"Usami Akihiko, what do you think you're doing?" She sounded angry and dumbstruck. "What's the meaning of this? Your father told me you haven't found a partner and here I find you playing around with some boy toy? I demand an explanation!"

"My father has not yet accepted my relationship with another man." Usami replied. There was no sign of his dishonesty.

Misaki then understood Usami was merely using him to get rid of the woman. He was still upset about the kiss though and expected Usami to apologise once the intruding nuisance had left. As he stood close to his so called partner, he saw the lady glare at him. He took a step back and grabbed the back of Usami's shirt. Takahiro hadn't commented on Misaki's attire, but he knew it wasn't the most adequate clothing when one was expecting visitors. It was unfortunate he had nothing else to wear.

"You should be ashamed." The blonde added. "I understand why your father wouldn't want you to mess around with a younger boy. Wouldn't you be better off with a lady instead of that?" She pointed at Misaki with a disapproving frown on her face.

"I don't need you telling me what I'm supposed to do."

"Your father wants this. He wants you to marry a lady."

"Even he wouldn't find you very ladylike after offending me and my partner. You're way too rude and too nosy. I must ask you to leave."

The woman looked so furious Misaki was a tad frightened by her. She turned around and stomped back to the door. Her high heels clacked so loudly it seemed as though they could break any moment, but no such thing happened. The door was ripped open and slammed shut with a loud bang as the lady left. Even after her departure, Misaki daren't move. He was too stunned by the woman's scary demeanour.

Usami stared at the door for a couple more moments before looking at Misaki. His expression was kind as he ran a hand through Misaki's hair. Misaki found the touch soothing, but he still had questions Usami had not answered yet.

"What was that all about? That kiss?"

"I needed to do something to get rid of that wench." Usami replied coldly. "My father can't keep sending strangers to my house without my consent. Now that that woman thinks I have a partner who is also a man it won't be long until my father finds out. I'm not looking forward to the same conversation with him."

"Same conversation?"

"Whenever he visits he always tells me to stop fooling around and get serious about my love life. He doesn't understand I don't want to get married." Usami sounded really irritated, so Misaki tried to change the topic.

"Nii-chan left without me, so does that mean I'm supposed to stay here with you?" he asked.

"Right, I haven't told you yet. Takahiro knows how much you want to go to Mitsuhashi and he wanted to do whatever he could to help you. He asked me to tutor you for a couple of weeks. I told him it would be easier if you stay here for the time being."

Misaki was a tad angry that his brother had made a decision without asking him if he was ok with it, but he knew Takahiro was just being helpful. He didn't mind staying with Usami for a while. It wasn't going to work out if he didn't have everything he needed though. He was sure his brother had thought things through very well, so it was surprising he didn't bring any of Misaki's belongings when he visited. Or maybe Misaki simply hadn't seen him bring any.

"Usami-san, are you ok with me staying here for so long?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. I thought that maybe you didn't want me around now that I'm healthy enough to go home. It's not that I mind staying here, but I don't have my clothes and not all of my textbooks are in my schoolbag."

Usami's expression remained unchanged. "That's not a problem." he said. "I had promised Takahiro I would pick up your stuff today. He'd put everything in a suitcase or two, so I assume I can leave in a couple of minutes. While I'm at it, I'll buy you a new winter coat too."

"You don't have to buy me a new coat. I can just get it when I get back to school."

"No, I insist."

The tone of Usami's voice made Misaki realise the man wasn't in for discussion. He breathed a sigh. Usami was being too nice to him again and he felt like he was bothering him. Any person who managed to make Usami fall for them would be gifted with a partner who'd drown them in presents and love. Or so Misaki thought, but he admitted he didn't know Usami all that well.

Usami walked to the door and got ready to leave. With a short glance at Misaki, he bid him goodbye and left. Misaki began feeling awkward the moment the door closed. He was alone in the home of a person he scarcely knew. That meant he could do whatever he wanted as long as Usami was away, but he didn't want to take advantage of Usami's hostility and kindness. It wasn't very clever to trust someone as easily as Usami did.

Irritation washed over Misaki as he suddenly came to realise he still hadn't gotten the chance to tell Usami not to kiss him again. Usami had already done it once without his consent and if more women came to visit history would be repeating itself. He had to make sure Usami knew he didn't approve, but that would have to wait until the man had returned. In the meantime, Misaki had to find some way to entertain himself.

_Since Usami-san is gone, I could check what's behind that door. No, I shouldn't do that. I promised I wouldn't and the door is locked. But it's making me so curious. Usami-san shouldn't have been so mysterious about it. This is his fault._

Misaki remembered seeing Usami put the key into the pocket of his pyjamas. He hoped Usami hadn't put it in the pocket of his trousers while getting dressed. Quickly, he ran up the stairs and opened all unlocked doors until he found the room he was looking for. He had yet to remember the floor plan of the manor. Not that Usami ever showed him. There wasn't any reason why the man should.

The bedroom was bigger than the guest room Misaki was occupying, but it was hard to tell with all the toys. Misaki did not understand the presence of anything so childish and ignored it as he walked to the edge of a large bed. He almost tripped over a scale model railway with a slate coloured train. When he reached the bed he found Usami's pyjamas under one of the pillows. His fingers roamed around in the pockets, but he felt no key.

It was too soon to give up though. Misaki opened the drawer of the nightstand and found a small rusty key there. He just assumed it was the key to the door downstairs and took it. The room was left behind without any trace of Misaki having been there.

At the bottom of the stairs Misaki halted and looked at the key in his hand. If it was really the right key he was about to discover whatever Usami was hiding from him. He wasn't sure how to feel about it, but part of him was excited enough to make him run to the old door and push the key into the keyhole. As the key twisted, an unlocking sound was heard. The dark room Misaki tried to examine before turned out to be a corridor leading to another wooden door. The walls were made of grey bricks in various shades from light grey to an almost black colour.

Misaki looked around, but soon found there was nothing interesting other than the second door. It appeared to be made from the same material and looked just as old as the first door. Misaki walked forward, leaving the door behind him open so he could see where he was going. He reached the second door, reached for the handle and pushed it down. The door was unlocked and opened, creaking unpleasantly loud.

There was again no light to illuminate the room and Misaki couldn't see anything as the light from behind him wasn't enough. Misaki tried to turn the lights on by clapping his hands, but nothing happened. He put his hand on the wall on his left and started searching for a switch. Finding it, he turned the lights on and studied the room. It took only a moment before Misaki regretted his decision. What he saw was not what he had expected to see. His face grew pale as he tried to look away.

_What is this about? _Misaki thought as he closed his eyes._ This is what Usami-san was trying to hide from me? I don't know what his intentions are, but he mustn't find out I've been here._

Misaki turned off the lights and shut the door. When he turned around, the exit was blocked by a tall figure. The panic rose when Misaki realised it was Usami. The man approached him and the look on his face told Misaki he was not pleased to find him there.

"Didn't I tell you to stay away from the door?" Usami said.

"…"

"You're not going to answer me? You broke a promise and now you are just going to stand there without saying anything? I'm not forgiving you so easily."

Before Misaki could respond, he felt a sharp pain in his neck. Dizziness hit him while he tried to look at Usami. The man put his hand on Misaki's back, but no longer spoke. It was all Misaki could perceive before he lost consciousness. Again.

**xxx**

_Once the damage has been done_

_There is no escape from reality_


	6. The Reality

_A/N: Plenty of you guessed what was behind the door and some were right too. Thank you XaoCookies, SuzukiChiyeko, thegirlwithagun, Trix, sekhoya990, na-ka-ma284, Katia27 (thank you for your long review), Scriverane, HM and Ino Death. Didn't expect so many.  
_

_Warnings: Gore and (possible) sexual content._

_Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan fiction. Junjou Romantica is owned by Nakamura Shungiku. I own none of the original characters._

**xxx**

Chapter 6

The Reality

**xxx**

Misaki awoke in the guest bedroom on the bed he had slept in. There was an irritating pain in his neck from where Usami stabbed him. He wasn't sure if he had been stabbed with fingers or with a knife, so he raised his hand to his neck to scan the area for blood. He couldn't. His hands were tied together.

"What is this? Usami-san, where did you go?" Misaki yelled. No answer came. It was already terrifying enough to be tied to a bed, but after seeing what was behind that door Misaki wanted to get away. Usami wasn't there apparently, so he had to find a way to free himself before the man returned.

_I need something sharp to cut the ropes. There doesn't seem to be anything sharp here though._ Misaki sighed. _What do I do now? I saw something I wasn't supposed to see. If Usami-san comes back I don't know what he'll do to me._

The secret Usami tried to protect had been discovered and it had confused Misaki. The moment he opened that door and turned on the lights, Misaki didn't believe what he saw. There was blood covering the floor and parts of the walls. Then he saw something even more disturbing.

Dead bodies. Four, if he didn't miscount them.

When he laid his eyes on those corpses he could only stand there without being able to look away from the horrifying sight. Misaki could stand seeing blood, gore, but he wasn't prepared to encounter it in Usami's house. It made no sense to him. The man who helped him and offered to help him couldn't possibly be a coldblooded murderer. But it appeared that wasn't the reality. There was no certainty whatsoever. Misaki could not tell from Usami's actions what he was really up to.

_Usami-san could perhaps be a serial killer, but then he would have killed me sooner. He never threatened me, only told me to stay away from the door. Will he murder me now that I've disobeyed him? _Misaki didn't want to think of Usami in such a way, but he couldn't stop himself from thinking the worst of him now. It even scared him when he heard someone at the door of the guest room, pushing it open. Usami walked in with nothing but calmness in his eyes. That didn't put Misaki at ease though.

"I see you have recovered from your unconsciousness." the man said. "That's good. I just returned with your belongings and a new coat. Care to try it on?"

"Are you not going to explain to me what is in that room downstairs?"

"What's there to explain? You saw it yourself. Furthermore, I do not owe you an explanation since you're the one who broke the promise. Whatever effect my secret had on you is not my responsibility. I tried to protect you, but you didn't listen to me."

"Protect me? You killed those people! What are you trying to protect me from?"

Usami began moving towards the bed and Misaki moved back, toppling off the bed. He reached for his head to ease the pain from the fall, but shot backwards when Usami touched him even though the touch wasn't anything imminent. The fright in his eyes seemed to alarm the man, for he moved away from him to give him a bit of room. Usami looked hurt and kneeled down. He kept looking at Misaki while he waited, though he wasn't sure what he was waiting for.

Neither of them tried to converse. Misaki wouldn't even bother to give Usami his full attention and was no longer looking at him. His eyes were shut tightly. The confrontation had made him too scared to do anything, even running away. The situation granted him no opportunity to do anything but talk to Usami. He was not up for that at all. Asking for the truth could result into death, so he didn't see why he should take that risk.

"Won't you look at me?"

"I don't want to." Misaki whispered. "You betrayed my trust too, Usami-san. I thought you were a kind person, but now that I've seen those corpses I don't know what you really want of me."

"Exactly. I never meant for you to see it. There is not a single part of me that would want to hurt you. Don't think I'll do the same thing to you, because I will most definitely not. Those people you saw were being a nuisance. They were trying to destroy my life, so I destroyed theirs."

"But that's not ok. Murder isn't something you can just get away with. It's not acceptable to take people's lives because they tried to interfere. You did wrong, Usami-san. Do you not see that?" Misaki then opened his eyes. "I saw those bodies, covered in blood, limbs missing or marred with so many cuts that I could barely identify them anymore. One of them was even beheaded. Why would you do something so horrendous?"

"Misaki, you don't know everything about me. There's no way you'd understand."

"Answer me. I just want to know why."

The answer did not come, even when Misaki pleaded for Usami to tell him the reason. It was complicated for them both. Whenever Usami tried to get even a tad closer to Misaki, the distance between them grew. He realised and understood Misaki was afraid to him after seeing what he had done to those other people, but they were different.

"Did you notice anything about those bodies?" Usami finally asked. He earned a look that told him Misaki did not quite understand his question.

"That they were all dead?"

"Clever observation, but that's not what I meant."

Misaki wondered if something had slipped his mind. _I didn't see anything else, but I may have been too troubled and shocked to pay attention. _He was giving up, but then remembered something rather peculiar.

"They were all female."

"Correct." Usami confirmed as he untied Misaki. "And I'll tell you why. I'm gynophobic."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm afraid of women."

"Why?"

"That isn't something I want to tell you. There are things I'd rather keep to myself." Usami rose and turned around. "If you don't mind, could you come with me to try on the winter coat I bought you?"

"Usami-san, do you expect me to forget everything and pretend there aren't any dead bodies lying in that room? I should call the police and show them what you've done. I should, but I don't know enough about you to tell if you're truly a bad man." _And you've been so nice to me, so it would seem ungrateful._

"That's why I didn't want you to know. If you can stay here with me and pretend you are my lover I won't have to kill anyone again. You can save those lives if you want to, but you'll need to be here with me to stop me."

_He makes it sound like he doesn't have a choice. I suppose I could stay though. _Misaki didn't feel entirely safe around Usami, but he needed him as a tutor. _Hold on a second. Did he say I have to pretend I'm his lover?_

"What's wrong?" Usami asked.

"You want me to act like I'm your lover?"

"It's nothing too serious. You only have to do it when some woman or my father is visiting. No big deal."

Misaki knew he didn't have a choice. His shoulders slumped in dejection as he came to realise that. It was not like he minded helping Usami in a way, but he failed to comprehend why it had to be something so degrading. He would never end up with a man as his lover. But for now he had to forget about that and try to be of assistance. There were more important matters to be concerned about, like the truth behind Usami's fear for the opposite sex.

**xxx**

_Pain reflecting the scars_

_None visible, hidden deep within_


	7. The Courtesy

_A/N: I know it's been long since the last chapter. I was having trouble with some personal matters and couldn't find the motivation to work on this until yesterday. Thank you na-ka-ma284, sekhoya990, Ino Death, SuzukiChiyeko, hm and saki for reviewing._

_Warnings: Gore and (possible) sexual content._

_Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan fiction. Junjou Romantica is owned by Nakamura Shungiku. I own none of the original characters._

**xxx**

Chapter 7

The Courtesy

**xxx**

"How much did you pay for that?"

"Is there something wrong with the coat?" Usami asked in bewilderment.

"Answer my question already."

"I don't think the price is of any importance. Try it on already."

Misaki snatched the coat from Usami's grasp and shot him an irritated glance. He couldn't believe one could spend so much money on something as ordinary as a winter coat. Misaki daren't put the thing on. He was almost intimidated by the stupid garment in his hand. The fabric was made of mode beige wool with fur on the inside of the hood. It was soft to touch and had a lovely design. Misaki had to admit Usami was a man of great taste.

Hands trembled, but Misaki didn't notice. His entire thought process had fallen to pieces. He stared at the coat absentmindedly.

"Aren't you going to try it on?"

"Is that ok? This looks like a very expensive winter coat."

"My bank account is the last thing you should pity."

"But it's too much. I don't need this kind of luxury."

"It's a gift from me. If you insist I could go back to the store to get you another coat. This looked like the only design that would fit you though. Do you dislike it?"

"Not at all, but I'm…"

The words died in Misaki's mouth. There was nothing for him to complain about after Usami explained his choice for the coat. It wasn't like he did not appreciate the man's generosity either. Left with no other options, Misaki put on the winter coat. He buttoned it up and spun around a couple of times.

"Fits like a glove." Usami decided. "Is it warm enough?"

"It is. I'm not sure how it feels wearing it outside though." Usami nodded.

"Let's go for a walk."

Misaki didn't object and patiently waited for Usami to get ready for the cold. Droplets trickled down the windows as it had started to rain, but Usami did not seem bothered by that. He already had an umbrella at hand. The shoes Misaki had worn the previous day where standing near the front door, so the teen walked to where Usami was standing and began to put on his shoes. He felt like he was being stared at but tried not to pay mind to it. Once he had tied his shoes he rose and met the eyes of the man.

"Ready to leave?" Misaki nodded and Usami immediately opened the front door.

The icy wind invaded the manor as the men stepped out. Misaki shivered at the drastic change in temperature. The winter coat kept his body warm, but his face still had to endure the cold. Usami looked at him worriedly and ran his hand through his rich brown strands of hair.

"Too cold?"

"The coat is keeping me warm." Misaki assured him. "It's just my face and hands that are cold."

Without speaking Usami handed him one of his gloves. Misaki put it on hesitantly and looked at him with a confused expression. The question he was about to ask died in his throat when Usami took his other hand and intertwined his fingers with Misaki's. Face growing red, Misaki began to shake his arm in embarrassment.

"What are you doing? Let go!"

"But this is the only way to keep our hands warm." Usami stated.

The answer made Misaki's objections completely pointless, so he shut his mouth and let Usami hold his hand. The man's hand was quite cold, but warmer than the breeze blowing past them. It appeared to have stopped raining, so Usami didn't open his umbrella and carried it in his left hand. They walked at a slow, relaxed pace. In spite of the tension Misaki felt as he held hands with another man, he enjoyed the fresh air and the tranquillity.

Winter may be the coldest and darkest season of all, but it carried something unique. Snow had not yet claimed the earth and hidden all traces of green. Some trees still had their leaves clinging to their branches, the various shades contrasting the greyish sky. It had a certain beauty to it. Misaki preferred witnessing winter at its best, with a layer of pure white. This early stage wasn't too bad either though. It reminded him more of the gentler autumn.

The hand holding his was becoming warmer as they moved along, almost as warm as the glove shielding his right from the cold. His gaze saddened. Usami had a warm personality, giving Misaki whatever he needed. He found it difficult to understand how someone so kind could have committed a coldblooded crime. It was out of irritation and fear, Usami had told him. Misaki didn't see how being afraid could possibly result into what he had seen. He had been afraid himself, of many things in life, but never had he felt like killing.

_I suppose it proves how different Usami-san is. Not everyone deals with their problems the same way. Killing isn't a very light hearted solution though._

"Why do you seem so bemused?"

"Excuse me?" Misaki asked whilst looking at the man. "I'm sorry Usami-san. I can't get the thought of you murdering those women out of my head. It is confusing me still. Why would you choose to do that if you could have walked away instead?"

"It's not like I wanted to. My father will always know where I am. Even if I try to run, he will find me again. I have talked to him several times and asked him to let me live in peace, but he won't listen to me."

"That doesn't make it ok to kill people. Don't get me wrong. I want to trust you, Usami-san. I'm just scared."

"You don't need to be afraid of me."

"I want to believe you, but I can't. Not yet."

Misaki averted his eyes as he refused to see the disappointment on Usami's face. One couldn't blindly rely on promises. He had broken a promise with Usami as well, so it was only natural the man would do the same. But there was an inner voice continuously trying to win him over, to make him trust a person he had known for no longer than a couple of days.

The wind whipped Misaki's hair across his face as he stood still. Hands were holding each other only loosely now. Exchange of warmth seemed to have stopped as both of their palms were burning with heat. Nevertheless, Misaki didn't feel the placidity from before.

"If it reassures you, I'll have you know I could never harm the family of a dear friend." Usami spoke. "Takahiro has put his trust in me. I want to treasure that trust."

"Sounds like you care about Nii-chan a lot."

"I do, but I care about you too. You have been good company so far and I feel happier with you around. It's hard to explain."

_Is he flirting with me again? Sounds like it. _Misaki tried not to keep that thought around for too long. He already felt awkward enough around a man like Usami, with his bloody mysteriousness.

"You shouldn't flatter me."

"I'm not. Just telling you how I feel." Usami smiled weakly at him. "It's getting colder now, so let's head back."

Misaki followed Usami as he turned around and walked a few steps behind him, letting go of his hand. He was once again baffled by how kind Usami was to him. If the repulsive sight of the corpses wasn't imprinted in his memory he would have considered the man the most goodhearted person in the entire world. He wanted so badly to find out what the reason was for Usami's fears.

**xxx**

"Here you go." Usami said as he handed Misaki a cup of hot tea. The teen smiled gratefully and took the cup from his hands.

They sat together on the couch, enjoying their hot drinks. Misaki had a soft blanket wrapped around his body to keep him warm, but he was shivering all the same. It wasn't cold inside the manor though. His body simply hadn't fully adjusted to the change in temperature yet.

"So was the coat warm enough?" Misaki nodded.

"Thank you for buying me a new winter coat. You didn't have to."

Usami didn't speak, just leaned closer to him. He put his arm around Misaki and pulled him against his own body. Moss green eyes trailed to his face, red colouring Misaki's cheeks. The latter shifted a bit.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked irritably.

"Keeping you warm. Since we're lovers this should be normal for us."

"We are only pretending. Don't do this to me unless it's absolutely necessary."

Even after Misaki said this, Usami did not remove his arm. He kept staring at him with an unreadable expression that was getting on Misaki's nerves. His fingers gently glided across the teen's shoulder. It made the skin of Misaki's neck prickle.

"Stop that. I only agreed with you because you promised to tutor me. Don't go try and take advantage of me. I consider you a friendly man, Usami-san. It would be a shame if you ruined that image."

"But shouldn't lovers be all over each other?"

Misaki couldn't stand the tone of Usami's voice. Talking as though he knew everything, the man was very different from usual. It was no longer kind, caring Usami Akihiko who would do whatever he could to please his guest. No, that side of him had been locked away.

"Lovers are supposed to know a lot about each other as well, but you're keeping secrets from me." Misaki countered.

The seriousness seemed to return to Usami, for his smirk transformed into a neutral, thin line with no indication of playfulness. His hand no longer touched Misaki's shoulder and was just hanging there motionlessly. Through his long eyelashes he peered at the teen. Then, he sighed and withdrew his arm.

"I am not someone who likes talking about himself." he admitted. "But it seems fair to tell you more about myself. I will answer all of your questions, except for that one. The cause of my phobia is not a topic I would like to discuss. If you want the answer you'll have to find it yourself."

"Fine, I will."

**xxx**

_Uncertainty, doubt, all locked away_

_Suppressed by awakening desires_


	8. The Provocation

_A/N: Thank you Ino Death, Trix, na-ka-ma284, sekhoya990, SuzukiChiyeko, thegirlwithagun, saki and Vegeta42 for reviewing. _

_The story is heading in a different direction as Misaki won't find out the truth right away. He will need some time to discover what Usagi is hiding and there will be some interference._

_Warnings: Gore and (possible) sexual content. _

_Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan fiction. Junjou Romantica is owned by Nakamura Shungiku. I own none of the original characters._

**xxx**

Chapter 8

The Provocation

**xxx**

The challenge in Usami's voice had provoked Misaki. Putting his feet on the ground, he got up from the couch and took a step away. His arm was caught in mid-air and locked in a tight grip. Eyes wandering around as his head turned, he looked at the man. It was difficult to read the expression carved in violet as the traces were vague, but Misaki swore he could see hurt in those eyes. He felt guilt overcome his senses and returned to his original position, next to Usami.

"Are you not interested in me as a person?" The voice was cool but its tone hinted pain. "I was hoping we could talk more before you dashed off to find the truth behind my secret. Your curiosity will be your doom someday."

"Don't you think it's natural to look for answers?"

"I do. So why wouldn't you start looking for them right here? I can tell you more."

"But not that."

Usami released Misaki's arm and put his hands in his lap. No vocal response came, only the silent answer of eyes raking over the petite form on the spot next to him. Misaki was not too comfortable with Usami's stare, but he knew he had said exactly what the man didn't want to hear. He could ask countless of questions about Usami's job or his relationship with his brother. Only a single secret was being kept from him and still he could not stop caring about it. He needed to know.

_It may be wishful thinking, but Usami-san might tell me in time. _Misaki thought. _We have to get better acquainted first. I can't do much other than believe him for now. Believing he won't hurt me._

"What do you do for a living?" Misaki asked.

"Writing. I'm a novelist."

"You must be successful to live in a manor like this."

"My books have become popular overtime, but I also come from a rich family. This isn't anything I am not used to. The house feels quite empty though."

"Manor." Misaki corrected again. He frowned when Usami chuckled.

"You should get used to living here, for you'll stay in this house for quite some time. I suppose giving you a tour around my humble abode isn't a bad idea, given that you've already been nosing about yourself." He smirked as Misaki blushed. "Is there anything else you would like to know about me? If not, I'll have some questions to ask too."

"I can't think of anything at the moment."

"Very well. What are your plans for the future? Do you have a dream job of some sort?"

Misaki shook his head in response. Suddenly, he realised he hadn't thought that much about his future. All he had been certain of was that he'd go to Mitsuhashi for the sake of his brother to study economy. There wasn't anything he wanted to be, no dreams for jobs or adulthood. He just wanted to make Takahiro proud. Nothing else mattered yet.

It was quiet. Usami didn't seem to have anything to say after Misaki's answer. The reason for this was unknown to Misaki. He assumed his reply had perhaps surprised Usami or the man was trying not to ridicule him. Having no plans or dreams did seem miserable, now that Misaki thought about it. Usami was a person who could be proud of the things he had achieved while Misaki didn't even know what his own goal was in life.

Effectively, Usami laid and hand on top of Misaki's head and patted it like he was petting a dog. Misaki looked at him, seeing a gentle expression. His green eyes went wide with surprise as though he wasn't expecting any comfort.

"No, I'm not disappointed in you." Usami said to answer the question which had been left unspoken. "When I was your age I didn't know what I wanted either. I had always been interested in law, but it didn't occur to me that I would become a writer someday."

"Usami-san." Misaki whispered his name.

"I suggest you address me by my given name."

"No! That's strange."

"Why is that? It will seem more natural that way. Try it at least once. It can't be that difficult."

Misaki could not get himself to accept it so easily. Being Usami's lover, even if he was only pretending, did not make it any easier to change his habit of addressing the man by his family name. It just seemed natural and more respectful that way.

"I can't do it."

"How about a nickname then?" Usami said. "If you give me a nickname my father will assume we are close."

"Usagi-san is all I can think of." Misaki answered. The smile on Usami's face took him by surprise.

"That's perfect."

There was something about that smile. Misaki didn't know why, but the contented expression gave him a warm feeling. As though Usagi's happiness made him happy as well, Misaki began to smile back. They stayed like that until the phone rang. Usagi's head snapped up and he glared at the telephone. He got up with a growl, walking over to the annoying ringing device.

Misaki wondered who the caller could be. When he saw the displeased look in Usagi's eyes, he realised it was someone the man did not want to talk to. It could be another woman who was trying to invite herself over or Usagi's father. He failed to hear what was being said as Usagi was muttering and speaking softly. Misaki would move closer and eavesdrop, but he doubted it would be appreciated.

The conversation went on for a bit while Misaki remained seated on the couch. Abruptly, Usagi slammed down the phone's receiver and began to speak in a language Misaki could not understand. The way in which the man spoke told him he was upset about the call. Thus far he hadn't seen Usagi that angry, so it worried him.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"No. No I'm not."

"What's the matter?"

"That bloody nuisance of a woman told my father about today and now he wants to know why I haven't told him about my lover. Apparently he would like to meet you immediately, so he has decided to pay a visit this afternoon." Usami sighed and walked back to the couch. "I was hoping we wouldn't have any interference today, but alas. My father will most definitely not be happy."

"All I need to do is act like a proper lover to make a good first impression, am I right?"

"I wish it were that simple, but unfortunately my father isn't too fond of me having a male lover. Even if you act like the perfect guy for me he will not approve. That's just how he is."

"At least let me try." said Misaki, giving Usagi a pleading look.

"Why do you want to try it so badly?"

"Because Usagi-san has already done so much for me and I've hardly done anything to repay you."

"I never said you had to, but if you insist there are a couple of things you need to keep in mind. First of all, we will have to do what lovers usually do. That includes being affectionate, so you have to let me kiss you without putting up a fight."

"Can't we just fake it?" Misaki's face flushed at the thought of being kissed by Usagi again.

"Didn't you say you wanted to repay me?"

"You're intolerable when you talk like that. Just a peck on the lips, but I don't want your tongue in my mouth again."

Usagi resisted laughing without giving Misaki any sort of reply. He was growing very fond of him, no doubt. Misaki wasn't special in appearance, but his personality was pleasant and enlivening. There nothing about his behaviour Usagi's father could dislike.

**xxx**

_Imperceptible voices echoing in the silence_

_Singing of what is precious and undiscovered_


	9. The Act

_A/N: I have been trying to upload this for two days, but my document manager was broken. Glad it is working again._

_Thank you thegirlwithagun, sekhoya990, Ino Death, na-ka-ma284, Trix and SuzukiChiyeko for reviewing._

_Warnings: Gore and (possible) sexual content. _

_Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan fiction. Junjou Romantica is owned by Nakamura Shungiku. I own none of the original characters._

**xxx**

Chapter 9

The Act

**xxx**

Usagi made an irritated sound when the doorbell rang persistently, but he refused to go answer it. Misaki gave him a disapproving stare.

"Aren't you going to let him in?"

"Not in the mood."

"I'll get it then." _He is in a bad mood now. I can't believe he dislikes his father that much. Not that I know much about him._

Misaki hurried to the door as he was growing tired of the annoying ringing and opened up. He looked into the silvery grey eyes of the visitor and examined the man briefly. No doubt this guy was related to Usagi, for they had similar facial features. Wrinkles showed that the man was older, but Misaki couldn't tell how much older exactly.

"Are you Usagi-san's father, by any chance?" Misaki asked.

"I am Akihiko's father. And who might you be?"

"This here is my lover." Usagi answered as he stood behind Misaki. "His name is Takahashi Misaki. Now that you have introduced yourselves I must ask why you were insisting on coming here today. Is it that urgent to meet Misaki?"

"By all means. It came as a shock when I heard the news from Katou-chan. She's such a nice young lady too. I really hoped you'd like her."

"A woman who dares to insult my lover and order me around is nothing but a nuisance to me. Good impressions are important and she didn't leave one on me. It sounds like she has fooled you though." Usagi walked away from the doorway. "You do not have the talent to look through other people's masks like I do. It would be better if you stopped trying to find the ideal partner for me."

"As your father, it is my duty."

"I didn't ask for it. It's annoying rather than helpful."

Fuyuhiko tore his eyes away from his son and looked at Misaki, but the teen didn't interfere with it. They both walked to where Usagi was standing. He was in the living room, leaning against a couch. Misaki could see from the look in his eyes that he wanted his father gone.

Misaki watched the elder Usami sit down and nervously strode to the kitchen.

"Would you like something to drink?" he asked from there.

"Tea would be great." Misaki nodded and searched the kitchen cupboards for the tea leaves.

"Misaki is kinder than I am." Usagi said. "If it were me I would have thrown you out already, but Misaki won't let me do that. You should consider yourself lucky."

"As cold as ever." Fuyuhiko sighed when his son glared. "Akihiko, I am doing this for your sake. A man from a rich family such as yourself should think of his future and the social standing of his family. I hold no grudge against Takahashi-kun, but I can't believe you are serious. You are a grown man. It is time for you to quit fooling around and find a good wife."

Usagi didn't answer to that. He looked over his shoulder at Misaki, having completely lost interest in what his father had to say to him. Misaki was not paying attention to him as he was making tea for their guest, but he had overheard the entire conversation.

The tea was ready and brought to the two men in the living room. Misaki sat the cups down and smiled at Fuyuhiko. Usagi patted the spot next to him, silently demanding Misaki to sit next to him.

"You wanted to meet Misaki, but you have hardly talked to him." said Usagi in mere cynicism. "I hope your true intentions are not to persuade me. I am happy with Misaki and I will not forgive you if you deprive me of that happiness."

"That happiness you're talking about is an illusion, Akihiko. You will find yourself in a difficult situation later in life where the two of you will have to part ways."

"And you're saying your marriage is any better?"

"Do you realise you would have never been born if I didn't marry your mother?"

"I'm not stupid, father." Usagi growled. "But I hope you do reflect on the mistakes you have made in your own life."

"You can't tell me what to do."

"Neither can you."

Misaki sat quietly while the other men argued. He tried to keep himself as discrete as possible, for he did not want to get involved. It wasn't any of his business and he wouldn't leave a good impression on Fuyuhiko.

_This is getting out of hand though. I could try to stop them, but there's no saying in what the outcome will be. _

He chose to keep listening to the unpleasant conversation, hoping it would somehow turn into something better before Usagi threw his father out.

**xxx**

"Takahashi-kun, how did you meet Akihiko?" Misaki looked at Fuyuhiko.

"He's a friend of my older brother. My grades are rather poor and Usagi-san said he could tutor me. I want to study economics at Mitsuhashi University, so I need to improve my results."

"Good choice. Mitsuhashi is a great university." said Fuyuhiko. "But I wonder how you and Akihiko became lovers with that as the basis of your relationship."

Misaki's face flushed. Lying was definitely not one of his specialties and he didn't know much about love due to his lack of experience. He was afraid of giving Fuyuhiko an unbelievable answer, but he couldn't ignore the question. Looking into the elder's eyes didn't help Misaki come up with anything. He was panicking until he felt Usagi put his arm around him.

"Our bond has grown stronger over time, because we began to learn more about each other. I now know what kind of man Misaki is and I have fallen in love with him. You may not know this, but the strongest love grows slowly." Usagi had a cocky expression which irked Misaki.

"I see."

"Is that all you have to say?"

"It is not my intention to give you the wrong idea." Fuyuhiko answered. "I believe you, but I think you would be better off without Takahashi-kun. There are many women in Japan you have never met before. You should give them a chance."

"Haven't I told you already? I have no interest in women. I hate them."

"You can't hate all of them."

"I can. We've talked about this before."

"And every time you try to make me believe you are afraid of women, which is the most ridiculous thing you have ever said to me. You know I hate dishonesty." Usagi gritted his teeth.

Misaki leaned against Usagi, acting like he thought a lover would. They looked at each other and Usagi began to smirk. That meant trouble and Misaki knew, but he did not move away. Usagi's fingers touched his jaw and pulled his face up. Their lips connected. Misaki blushed and closed his eyes, trying to endure. The kiss didn't last long, but to him it felt like minutes had passed before Usagi stopped.

"It will be ok." said Usagi to his lover. "You're perfect the way you are. Understood?" Misaki nodded.

Fuyuhiko coughed uncomfortably to capture his son's attention. Usagi glared at him again and released Misaki's face. His father stood up and watched them for a couple more seconds.

"I must go now." he said. "Give it some more thought, Akihiko. I'm sure you will eventually start to understand I'm doing this for you."

"Don't get your hopes up too high." Usagi responded.

"Takahashi-kun, it was a pleasure to meet you." Fuyuhiko bowed and left without waiting for Misaki's reply.

The door shut remarkably quietly. Usagi's eyes were on the door, but then moved to meet Misaki's. The look in them was neither happy nor sad. There was only a hint of concern.

"Is everything alright?" Misaki asked caringly.

"Yes, it's fine. Just a pity my father still won't listen to me. I'm not giving in though."

"He mentioned you telling him about your fear. Does he know the reason?" Usagi nodded.

"Not that he believes me though. I have been trying to convince him, but he won't believe me no matter what I say."

It wasn't hard to see Misaki's jealousy at that point. Usagi had told his father a secret he kept from the person who was pretending to be his lover. It did not seem like a great excuse, but Misaki believed it was important for him to be trusted by Usagi. And with that same trust he also meant to have Usagi tell him whatever he wanted to know, without exceptions.

_That is definitely not a realistic thought. _Misaki told himself. _Usagi-san is not going to tell me anything. He already told me to figure it out by myself, so that's my only hope._

"I'm going to bed." said Usagi as he rose. "Good night, Misaki."

"What about dinner?"

"Not hungry." Misaki frowned.

"Are you feeling unwell?" he asked.

"I wouldn't say unwell, but talking to my obstinate father is tiring."

The answer almost urged Misaki to tell Usagi how he wasn't any different from his father, but he shut his mouth before the words came out. He didn't want to upset the man any farther. Rooted to the couch, he saw Usagi walk to the stairs and ascend to the first floor. Once Usagi was back in his room, Misaki's investigation could continue.

**xxx**

_Consider me your mirror image_

_See the similarities, not the differences_


End file.
